I almost stopped smoking today...
Then again I almost pushed an old lady out of the way after a six hour flight... I think I'm going to keep smoking for now. AND you are welcome!!!
After all if I didn't smoke that's one less person you non smokers have to bitch about, then what are you gonna do?! Start bitching about other smells you don't like?!! Are we gonna start hearing about the dangers of 2nd hand farts?!!
Not to mention all the health care professionals I'm keeping employed and with this economy?!! We need all the jobs we can get, so once again you're welcome!!!
Let me bring it down for you people...
Smoking stops me from freaking out on YOU, that's right YOU!
You the guy in line at Taco Bell talking on your cell phone while trying to order off the dollar menu.
You the little kind lady at the market who is paying with change after using coupons.
You the ASS who just cut me off in rush hour traffic, just so you can get to the next traffic light 1.5 seconds faster. If I didn't smoke YOU would be endanger, and I would be endanger of going to jail! Do you know how much of YOUR tax dollars it takes to house an inmate a day?
Not to mention what the hell am I suppose to after sex?! What, spoon??? Hookers hate that, and it coasts more. Maybe if cigarettes didn't coast so much I could afford that!
My favorite is: " Joe we want you around for a long time" ummm do you know me? I'm already a moody dick, and you want to take away smoking?!!
I'm just saying,
it's like this:
Joe - cigarettes = Total ASS HOLE
YOU ARE WELCOME!!!
