Thursday, October 28, 2010

You "Rock the Vote" I'm watching Football

I'm not going to vote, that's right! Sorry, call me a dick. Say I'm what's wrong with America.
I don't care!!!
MTV and every body else is all about: "Rock the vote" NO I don't think so!!!
I don't think everyone should be able to vote. I think you should have to take a test to vote. I really think that's how bush was elected in the first place...
Did you see that? See what happens when people (me) with no education on the subject just starts throwing his opinion's around!!! Any Idea how thousands of folks like me could be dangerous at the polls!!!
Stop telling people who have no idea whats going on to vote, cause it's cool and Jay Z is doing it.
I would pay more attention to all the politics, But I have way too much Football, and ESPN to watch. I tryed but I just don't care. You know what I care about? I care if the Giants cover the spread THAT'S WHAT!!!

Besides it's way too much pressure to vote, I mean what if I vote for the wrong person?!! Huh then all of a sudden he goes nuts and starts talking about weapons of average destruction?!! Then we attack Mexico for no reason at all?!!
Then a year into the "Mexico America conflict" also known as "Sombrero Storm" we all find out the conflict had nothing to do with average weapons, but had everything to do with not having enough burritos in our country!
Then next thing I know we all are paying $3.89 for a burrito!!!
I'm sorry that's way too much pressure for me.
You guys go ahead and rock the vote, I'll be here watching Sports Center waiting for the change...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Favre its not you, its me...

I don't even know how to put this, so I'm just going to come out and say it...
Brett, we have had some really good times. I'm sorry, But I have to drop you from my fantasy team... I think it's time we move on.

We had a good run, it's just run it's course. My friends and family are starting to talk. It's just not a healthy relationship anymore. I can no longer go on defending you, let alone sit here and watch you do this to yourself, AND to us!!! I just need some space and some time to think.

I mean I gave you the best 21 years of my life!!! AND FOR WHAT?!!
It's like you're not even thinking about my needs anymore. You're just running around taking d*ck pics, and throwing things whereever at whoever without even thinking about how it's affecting me, or the people around you.

It hurts Brett, it hurts! I have supported you though everything Brett, EVERYTHING!!! You throw six picks in the playoff, I'm there, you retire every year, I'm there, you blow it in the NFC Championship game, I'm there, you take pics of your junk and I"M THERE!!!

But when I needed you on Sunday night where were you?!! You know maybe it's not you, maybe it's me. Maybe you're just trying to set every record in the NFL good and bad? If that's the case just say so!!!

Dude even the mouth breathing D BAG of a coach is talking crap!!! When is it going to end?!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I'm sorry, but I have picked up another QB. I just don't want you to hear it from someone else, his name is Flacco. Yes he is young, but I just can't wait for you any longer... I'm sorry it has to be this way but I can't change you, all I want is to be happy...

So long old pal, I hope you find the receiver you have been trying to throw to for 21 years...
Joe F.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm in pole position bitch!!!

Really Nascar has a cologne for men?!! WOW, I didn't know domestic violence had a scent...

AND while I'm at it, I really like it's funny that Nascar is sponsored by ExtenZE. So if you use it and "bust one" too fast, you can just say "hey baby relax I was just qualifying"

You don't like 2nd hand smoke? GO TO A BAR!!!

I almost stopped smoking today...
Then again I almost pushed an old lady out of the way after a six hour flight... I think I'm going to keep smoking for now. AND you are welcome!!!

After all if I didn't smoke that's one less person you non smokers have to bitch about, then what are you gonna do?! Start bitching about other smells you don't like?!! Are we gonna start hearing about the dangers of 2nd hand farts?!!

Not to mention all the health care professionals I'm keeping employed and with this economy?!! We need all the jobs we can get, so once again you're welcome!!!
Let me bring it down for you people...
Smoking stops me from freaking out on YOU, that's right YOU!

You the guy in line at Taco Bell talking on your cell phone while trying to order off the dollar menu.

You the little kind lady at the market who is paying with change after using coupons.

You the ASS who just cut me off in rush hour traffic, just so you can get to the next traffic light 1.5 seconds faster. If I didn't smoke YOU would be endanger, and I would be endanger of going to jail! Do you know how much of YOUR tax dollars it takes to house an inmate a day?

Not to mention what the hell am I suppose to after sex?! What, spoon??? Hookers hate that, and it coasts more. Maybe if cigarettes didn't coast so much I could afford that!

My favorite is: " Joe we want you around for a long time" ummm do you know me? I'm already a moody dick, and you want to take away smoking?!!
I'm just saying,
it's like this:
Joe - cigarettes = Total ASS HOLE
YOU ARE WELCOME!!!